Hillbilly
Diet Planner - Down to the Good Earth
Before we jet off on our Hillbilly Diet Planner,
let's address just a few Weight Contributors.
The link to the diet planner is at the bottom
of this article:
Younguns
Having younguns will really put a cork on the old
diet. If yore female, 9 months of toting about
does a body in. If yore male, listening to yore
woman moan about being child-laden is enough to do
a body in
Then after the little varmints are born, they’s real
picky little eaters. Pizza this, soda pop that,
hamburger this, chocolate that. They like finger
foods and truth is, eating fast food is generally cheaper
and we know it’s quicker. Trouble is – we end
up at the fast food joints with ‘em and who can resist
happy meals? Let’s not forget eardrums. Baby-bawling
is enough to make a grown person cry their own self!
Talk about stress! As the years roll by, the pounds
roll on.
Hooch
A little shine every now and then isn’t going to
amount to a hill of beans. But too many happy
spirits can make yore gut look like you’ve swallowed
the dang keg! Kick-a-poo-joy juice is something
that’s best handled a little at a time.
Stress
Stress lives in the big city. Has a fancy name
to it, too. It’s called CIVILIZATION. From
time-to-time, it does a body good to escape into the
Wild Blue Yonder. And if you do, be sure and pack
yore umbrella cuz you’ll need it just as sure as the
sun rises.
Holidays & Happy Events
Yep, even the happiest of moments in life can be
damaging. We git to partying and before we know
whut hit us, we’ve done happied far too much. Some
events to watch out for include: Weddin’s, Christmas,
Thanksgiving & rich Uncle Lester’s funeral – which
I must say, was pert-near close to Thanksgiving.
Even sporty occasions will blow up a body. My
butt gained 8 inches in width just by watch’ my lil’
Johnny play softball one year. Sittin’ on those
bleachers, jetting in buttered popcorn, soda, ice cream
and nachos really grand slammed me for a loop.
Money
Money ne’ver done much good for anyone or anything
in this life cept purchasing new teeth to eat with.
Seems like every time that I get my hands on a
wad of ones that I either blow it all on the local bakery
shop or find myself in need at the outhouse without
a leaf in site.
So money causes stress and stress causes us to sometimes
eat more than we need to. So if you have money,
send it all to me and this problem will be solved.
City Duds/Country Duds
Believe it or not, duds are the reason that many
folks are overweight. Once you spend a certain
amount of money on new-fangled duds it just doesn’t
make sense to lose weight so you’ll have to buy more.
Too Much Sweet Chaws & Butter Rues
Sweets and fats are probably the most understood
items in our diet. Truth is, sweets won’t hurt
a fellow not a lick if eaten smartly. I don’t
think that I’d want to hear another rooster crow Good
Mornin’ if I knew that I could never enjoy another slice
of homemade buttered bread, would you?
Navigate the
Hillbilly Diet Plan
About
the Hillbilly Diet Plan
Meal
Planner
|
